How Growing Roses Taught Me Courage in the Face of MS

I was intimidated by the prospect of cultivating these famously finicky flowers. But once I dove in, I realized the rewards were rich — and offered many life lessons.

While I’ve enjoyed gardening for years, I always avoided planting roses. As much as I loved their beauty and fragrance, I was intimidated. I had heard that roses were difficult to grow, picky about soil, and prone to countless diseases and pests. That’s not to mention their perilous thorns and my worries about tending them in the heat of summer and risking the exacerbation of my multiple sclerosis (MS).

But when I saw a potted rose bush in my local garden store last spring, I was intrigued. The tag on the 2-gallon plant with lush green leaves bore the name “Summer Romance” and teased me with pictures of the lavish, medium pink blooms to come. The notes were encouraging: “Extremely fragrant. Disease resistant.”

Hmmm … what did I have to lose? Even if the bush only survived the summer, such a beautiful and aromatic display might be well worth the $25 price. So, I bought it.

Once home, I found a sunny spot in my yard, a perfect place to plant my new rose. But roses require a deeper hole than most plants. When I tried to drive a shovel into the dirt, I nearly fell over. The hard red clay wouldn’t budge.

My husband, who was battling a fierce round of sciatica and couldn’t help, handed me a mattock, a big tool with a pick on one side and a horizontal blade on the other. The mattock quickly became my new best friend. I pierced the soil with the pick, rotated the mattock to the blade, and then dragged it through the dirt. I took my time, being sure to rest every few minutes, but before long, I had a hole!

Following the advice on the tag of the plant, I filled the hole with a mixture of clay, aged cow manure, and traditional potting soil. Then, donning gloves to protect my hands, I settled my rose bush in its new home and watered it thoroughly.

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Built to survive

I soon learned that roses are powerhouses. They are made to succeed. Their thorns, while a nuisance to the gardener, are meant to deter predators. Their thick canes resist wind damage, and roses love the heat. In fact, unlike me, they thrive in it.

If watered properly, at least 2 to 3 inches per week during summers, they can grow in nearly every climate in the United States. Within 2 weeks of planting my new rose, it burst with new shoots and tiny rose buds, which soon yielded blooms with an intoxicating fragrance reminiscent of cherries and licorice.

A garden of lessons

Once I let go of my fears and planted my first rose bush, I succumbed to a new affliction — a full-blown case of “rose mania.” I planted another rose bush, a variety known as “Happy Go Lucky,” known for a mildly spicy fragrance and ruffled deep yellow petals. Before the end of the summer, five rose bushes adorned my garden.

Tending to so many roses brought important lessons. Roses are prone to disease and often develop aphid infestations and powdery mildew, but if managed carefully, these conditions are usually temporary. This helps me remember that my shaky legs and the burning sensations in my limbs are usually resolved with the right treatments, such as rest and cold packs. The key, as with roses, is paying attention and taking time out to address symptoms when they occur.

For all their delicate petals, roses are remarkably resilient. With a strong root system, they can endure blistering temperatures, heavy winds, and even the occasional nibble of a deer. I, too, rely on my own support system to weather the emotional and physical ups and downs of living with MS.

Beauty can be strong

My rose journey has brought many gifts, but the greatest one is a newfound courage of facing life with MS. For example, my success with roses taught me not to rule out an activity because of its reputed difficulty. Now that I can grow roses, I’m not as intimidated to try other new things, such as dog training, watercolor painting or baking bread.

Growing roses has given me new bravery about the future. In the past, even if I felt good one day, I still worried about what new symptoms tomorrow might bring.

However, my roses never fret. They bloom in waves or “flushes.” They produce a handful of blooms at a time and then take a break for a couple of weeks, restoring themselves for another round of flowers.

I try to follow their example and take it easy on myself, which quells my worries about the future. I take regular breaks each day, even a little nap, which helps me manage my fatigue.

I have also come to admire the fierce thorns on my roses. They send a message that beauty can be strong. When faced with unreasonable requests from my church, family, or friends, I have learned to protect myself by saying “no.” This action provides my own barrier and prevents stress and even more fatigue.

How to grow

If you, too, have a chronic illness but long to grow roses, you might be interested in the following tips.

Choose carefully: Save yourself unnecessary worry or labor by selecting rose varieties that will do well in your environment. Some roses cannot survive sustained periods of frost or extreme heat. Because much of my yard is partially shaded, I have better success with roses that, like me, can tolerate a little less sun. That makes varieties such as David Austin’s “Gertrude Jekyll” and “Lichfield Angel” welcome additions to my garden.

Pace yourself: When tending your roses, take regular breaks. It takes time to dig a hole, and I pace myself with this work. If you water them regularly, most roses can remain in their store-bought containers for several days, which gives you ample time to prepare their permanent home. Be sure to “water” yourself, too, while working. Hydration helps keep your body strong.

Stay cool and dress properly: I take care of my roses only in the early morning or late afternoon, which helps me avoid the highest temperatures, which can exacerbate my MS. For extra protection, I also wear a hat, sunscreen, insect repellent, and long gloves.

Call on Mother Nature: I learned that it’s important to include plants in my garden, such as catmint and lavender, which attract beneficial insects. Ladybugs and other pollinators like to visit these plants and will also dine on aphids, which keeps my garden healthy and decreases my labor.

Be patient: New roses take time to develop the deep roots and thick canes necessary to reach their highest potential. If you’re new to rose gardening, you may find yourself disappointed by the few weeks it can take to produce the first round of blooms on your new plant. Be patient.

As someone who has lived with MS for 25 years now, it has taken me a long time to adjust to the changes in my life due to my disease. Even so, I sometimes still forget to be patient with myself. Rose gardening reminds me of its importance.

The takeaway

Growing roses has brought me not just courage but serenity and contentment. Instead of aiming for perfection, I’m learning to appreciate the moment. In more ways than one, I’m taking the time to “smell the roses,” and the aroma has never been sweeter.